Pay Dirt, March 20 2024, " My Daughter Let It Slip That She Expects Me to Buy Her a House."
Arrogance unhinged.
Original column: Pay Dirt, March 20 2024
My take: The LW raised her kids “on a modest salary as a single mom.” Now she’s married to a wealthy man.
The problem is that the LW’s daughter wants a house, and is “berating” the LW to get this wealthy husband to buy her one. The daughter and her family rent in an area that’s too expensive for them, but they won’t move because of their “political opinions.” The daughter also said she’s “sick” of her mother “flaunting” her new lifestyle.
The whole thing has the mother feeling “physically ill.” She’s actually afraid to tell her husband.
Raise your hand if you think the answer to this one is obvious.
Well, guess again. Pay Dirt recommends gentleness and sympathy for this daughter, who begrudges her long-suffering mother’s happiness, and demands that her mother’s husband meet a basic need most of us are expected to meet for ourselves.
Now, as to housing ourselves on our own, obviously, some people can’t do that. Those people need help, and they should get it in a manner that respects their dignity.
But needing help isn’t a license to attack and insult others, as the daughter has done to her mother. Nor is there any reason to think the daughter does need help. The only thing the LW says about her financial position is that there’s a solution (moving) that the daughter won’t even consider, because of politics.
And wow, are some people arrogant about their politics! There’s a world of difference between “these are my circumstances, can you please help?” and “these are my opinions, so you pick up the check.”
Yet Pay Dirt doesn’t see that. It credulously tells the LW that there are “plenty of good reasons to live in a place that aligns with your political values,” and counsels her not judge her daughter for her “life choices.” As if there were a legitimate life choice that trumped basic consideration—even normal courtesy!—for the woman who singlehandedly raised you.
And then Pay Dirt says the LW should ask her husband how much he can chip in! It actually thinks the daughter ought to get some money! It adds injury to insult!
It sounds, by the way, like the LW’s husband is no prince. It’s not good that she’s “afraid” to tell him about her daughter. But that still doesn’t justify the daughter in making her mother “physically ill.”
Chance this letter is fake: Not sure. Could the LW have made this up? Even if she did, Pay Dirt’s response is enough to put this squarely in the “Best Question, Worst Answer” category.