The Ethicist, September 29 2023: “I Was Given a Ring as a Treasured Heirloom. Can I Sell It?”

Is the ethicist ethical?

Link to the original letter here.

My take: To recap, an older relative has given the LW a fabulously valuable ring (not “gifted” her; sorry, can’t help myself). It’s a family heirloom, and she assumes he means for it to replace the engagement ring she already has.

She wants to sell it. She thinks her relative would want it back if he knew that. But she also games out the reasons why he might never know, and she might get away with it.

The Ethicist says the LW should tell her relative she plans to sell it.

But is this really ethical, Mr. Ethicist? Should she tell her relative? Or should she ask him, so she can return it to him if he doesn’t want that?

Chance this letter is fake: The situation may be real, but I doubt the LW is being honest about her state of mind. She is definitely selling that ring, no matter what answer she gets. She’s just hoping for a way to feel better when she does it.